Zirik ([info]hyperspace) wrote in [info]bad_rpers_suck,

To open or not to open?

Some time ago I ran a session of a homemade sci-fi RPG with some friends. I helped them make characters and I sent them on their first mission.

They were to land on an ancient machine planet and search for useful technology. As soon as their shuttle landed, their orbiting mothership was attacked by hostile aliens and destroyed. Shortly after moving into the ruined city, they noticed multiple alien dropships landing in places all over the city. The party continued through the ruins until they encountered a group of small aliens with a large box. They quickly dispatched the aliens and went to investigate the box.

Mole: I'm going to open the box.
Slick: Don't! It could be a bomb!
Mole: We don't know that. I'm going to open it to see what it is.
Me: You pry open the side of the box and are faced with a large, curved metal panel wth no discernible features.
Slick: It's a bomb!
Mole: Maybe. We don't know what it is for sure.
Slick: It looks like a bomb.
Mole: It could be a robot.
Slick: If it's a robot then it might attack us.
Mole: I could reprogram it not to.

They debated whether to continue investigating the box for a whole hour (RL time). The other two members of the party moved to a safe distance and waited. I finally got tired of waiting and got them to make persuasion rolls against each other. Mole won and got to pull the thing out of the box. It turned out to be an automated sentry gun which almost killed him while he tried to dismantle it by hitting it lots. I later discovered that he intended to turn it into a fast road vehicle of some kind.

Also in the same session:

I idly roll some dice behind the screen.
Slick: What did you... Everyone hit the deck!
Me: You can't use out of character information in character.
Slick: Oh.
Me: By the way, snipers fire at you from rooftops.

Some encounters later, Slick acquired fatal injuries after trying to climb up the back of a very angry cybernetic monster and stab it in the back of the head. When creating his new character...

Slick: Can I have a pair of swords?
Me: What sort of swords?
Slick: Twelve foot bone swords, made from the bones of a space dragon that my character slew with his bare hands.
Me: There are several problems with this. One: There are no such things as space dragons in this setting. Two: If there were space dragons, how would you kill it with your bare hands in space? Three: Twelve foot swords?
Slick: Oh, what about imitation space dragon bones?
Me: o_O
Slick: And I can make them only ten feet long if you want.

Most of the combat had been firefights with futuristic assault rifles and laser cannons. He wanted swords (and rather silly ones, too).

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  • 20 comments

[info]masteralida

July 15 2005, 06:52:14 UTC 6 years ago

ROFLOL! Just how tall WAS his character - or did he plan on dragging those swords along behind him?

[info]hyperspace

July 15 2005, 07:01:52 UTC 6 years ago

His character was 6'2", with high strength, but nothing supernatural. I explained that it would be incredibly difficult to wield such enormous weapons effectively. He said, "The size is no problem. Space dragon bones are very light." This is after I told him there were no space dragons.

[info]masteralida

July 15 2005, 07:04:58 UTC 6 years ago

Did you shoot back that imaginary weapons from imaginary creatures tended to weigh nothing at all? ;)

[info]hyperspace

July 15 2005, 07:12:26 UTC 6 years ago

This same guy wanted a dragon familiar in a game where the characters were time travellers sent to medieval Europe to repair the timeline. They were told to keep interactions with the natives to an absolute minimum to avoid disturbing the timeline further. All of the players but him chose equipment that would suit the era, generally on the order of simple clothing and weapons. One had a chainmail shirt. Slick looked at the list and his first choices were powered combat armour from the future and a pair of industrial plasma cutters. I told him no, so he picked full plate armour and a greatsword. Not very sneaky. Later, after I gathered up the character sheets, he handed in two sheets. One for his character, and another for his dragon familiar. o_O

[info]xerxesskyknyght

July 15 2005, 07:15:43 UTC 6 years ago

...

*death*

Just *death*

This guy sickens me.

[info]shadur

July 15 2005, 07:50:35 UTC 6 years ago

And you're still playing with this imbecile why precisely?

[info]hyperspace

July 15 2005, 11:02:11 UTC 6 years ago

Because I only have five players, and he's not the most daft of them. :P

[info]mostlyjoe

July 15 2005, 12:34:48 UTC 6 years ago

Great Zeus's Ghost! What are the rest like?

[info]hyperspace

July 15 2005, 23:18:08 UTC 6 years ago

For another game (medieval steampunk), Mole created this character:

Name: Hunter Talon

His parents were killed by bandits when he was a child and he was taken into the forest and raised by beastmen. They trained him to fight and hunt like no man. His goal in life is to take revenge on the bandits that killed his parents.

Remarkably, Slick's character for this RP was a scholarly alchemist with no extraordinary powers.

Flug, another of the players, also wanted a character called Hunter. He wanted a thief with extraordinary strength and combat prowess, and no stealth or thieving abilities at all. I told him that he just made a fighter, but he insisted that he was a thief. He also wanted a katana.

[info]xerxesskyknyght

July 15 2005, 06:55:35 UTC 6 years ago

*kills Slick for a variety of good reasons*

Why are your players so bloody brain-fried?

[info]youngwilliam

July 15 2005, 07:23:03 UTC 6 years ago

I'd be tempted to say, "Space dragon? Sure!" And establish that 'space dragons' are like huge Lovecraftian Dreamlands Butterfly-Dragons (vis: http://animals.m0.timduru.org/view/cat,FantasyCat-Cathead-ButterflyDragon-contact.jpg ).

Being critters that live in space, they have an exoskeleton and are geared more to be light so they can catch solar winds. So the 'space dragon bone sword' is pretty much a hollow styrofoam tube -- twelve feet long.

[info]hyperspace

July 15 2005, 07:38:53 UTC 6 years ago

The closest things to space dragons in my setting were the leviathans, which were better described as a combinaton of clams, snakes and asteroids. They had no bones and ate spaceships by bathing them in hot plasma until the ship is reduced to an edible liquid form. A twelve foot sword made from leviathan carapace would probably weigh just a little less than an equivalent volume of lead, being composed of the solidified and compressed remains of molten hull plating.

[info]almightyhat

July 15 2005, 07:46:45 UTC 6 years ago

Don't knock the tubes, man.

[info]samir1stdude

July 15 2005, 12:53:35 UTC 6 years ago

PATH through Oblivion!

thanks!

[info]lord_dragonfang

July 15 2005, 10:49:25 UTC 6 years ago

Me: You can't use out of character information in character.
Slick: Oh.
Me: By the way, snipers fire at you from rooftops.

That was priceless.

[info]devik_wolf

July 15 2005, 14:04:22 UTC 6 years ago

Yeah, always a classic :D

[info]mostlyjoe

July 15 2005, 20:54:44 UTC 6 years ago

That reminds me of Mike Pondsmith's exploding TV.

[info]such_are_queens

July 15 2005, 11:53:48 UTC 6 years ago

The little exchanges made me laugh so hard.

Space dragons! It sounds like the guy is trying to be quirky, or something, because "bones from the SPACE DRAGON I slew with my BARE HANDS like SPACE HERCULES!" is just too weird.

[info]hyperspace

July 15 2005, 23:03:03 UTC 6 years ago

He was serious. He actually expected me to let him have giant space dragon bone swords.

[info]knifesmile

July 17 2005, 06:44:13 UTC 6 years ago

To be perfectly honest, I as a GM probably would have. When players come to me with a request that is more ridiculous than anything I could have come up with on my own, I tend to give it to them. There are two reasons for this.

1.) I know I will be exposed to some really awesomely funny pose-striking and so forth in the near future, and God help me, but my sense of humour drives a lot of what I do when I run games.
2.) More importantly for the game, and equally potentially hilarious, giving them items like that gives me license to make sure they're going to need 'em.

See, I plan literally just about nothing. I don't recommend this, mind, unless you're incredibly awesome at improv and don't mind dealing with the consequences of having a creative off-day occur on gaming day, but it does mean there is literally nothing a player can do, IC or OOC, to throw me off.

Knowing these two rules, picture what my W:tA/Shadowrun theme-crossover game was like after one of the players wanted to get a grenade launcher, with both normal explosive rounds and silver-shrapnel rounds.

I don't like to self-congratulate, but given how he behaved around me for every other game I've run, I honestly think I terrified him so badly with that stuff that he's honestly afraid to twinkplay ever again.

So take that home as an idea -- give them what they want, and then use it against them.
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